I've been in a state of not understanding where I stand in this world... I'm still there, but I'm beginning to see a little more clear. After talking with an amazingly Godly woman I realized a lot about myself that I thought I knew, but apparently don't.
I need a direction to go. Right now I'm stuck in a holding pattern, I'm not progressing in my personal life. Nothing of what I say pertains to my husband whatsoever, we are doing amazing. It all pertains to how I do life.
This woman showed me that I need to realize what my spiritual gifts are. We sat and talked about it and I honestly couldn't really come up with what they are. I'm a person who has to be told what I'm good at... so she has a test and I'm going to take it. Very soon I hope... because I need to feel a sense of need in this world.
I know God has me here for something Big... I married Ben because the two of us together can accomplish something HUGE together. We don't know what it is yet, but God is preparing us. Even when it's unbelieveably hard to sit and wait.
For me to figure out what my spiritual gifts are, it will help me to define more for myself what God has me here for. Do you know what you're on this earth for? Because I do know that I'm not here for me... and it's a hard lesson to learn (I'm learning about it everyday... even today).
I think God has given me this moment to digress and regroup. To figure out what it is I am really here to do. How am I going to make the biggest impact on this world? How will I help others grow right alongside me?
Today I learned (again) that it's not all about me. It's about everyone else and what I can do for them.
Please help me remember this!
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I think your problem is not a lack or misunderstanding of your spiritual gifts...I think you know what your gifts are but don't particularly like the gifts you have and/or would prefer to have other gifts. You see others with high profile type gifts like musical ability and teaching and think "now that guy has a gift!" and wish your gift was as noticeable. Your gifts are just as special but you have to own them and develop them. Being able to use what comes to you naturally can become a high profile-type gift when you become the best at it. Look at Martha Stewart. She is not a famous acterss, she is a famous homemaker because she is the BEST at home making. She did what she had natural ability for and was noticed and now other people know about her strengths.
Instead of focusing on imroving your weaknesses or finding an "acceptble" gift, you should focus on your strengths.
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